Philmo Phlegm's Cut-out and Keep Guide to British Newspapers

[philmophlegm]

Something that foreigners often find difficult when reading British stories is not knowing the editorial stances of British newspapers. British newspapers seem to be more opinionated than many foreign newspapers, and if you don't know where that paper is coming from, you'll find it hard to deal with any bias. So in the spirit of international brotherhood, here is Philmo Phlegm's Guide to British Newspapers...


The Independent: Everything's shit, and it's all our fault.
Daily Mail: Everything's shit, and it's all their fault.
Daily Telegraph: Everything's shit, not like it was in my day.
The Times: Everything's shit, but you'll have to pay more money to see why.
Daily Express: Everything's shit, and has been since Diana died.
The Sun: "Everything's fab!", says Page 3 stunner Tracy, 36-30-32, from Essex.
The Mirror: Everything's shit, and it's all the fault of the Tories.
The Guardian: Everything's shit, and it's all the fault of the Jews. And the bankers. And especially the Jewish bankers.
The Morning Star: Everything's shit, not like it was in The Soviet Socialist Utopia.
Daily Record: Everything's shit, and it's all the fault of the English bastards.
Daily Star: Simon Cowell's a shit.
The Financial Times: Everything's shit, so thank god you're rich.
Absolutely any local newspaper: Everything's shit and it's all the fault of the council. That, or Londoners who don't understand our local ways.


Interestingly, television news is much more neutral, and coverage of most stories is rarely obviously biased. However, the selection of news stories can be. Sky News uses The Times to decide what is an important story. BBC News uses The Guardian for the same purpose. Channel 4 News uses some combination of the Independent and the Guardian. ITN follows the other channels, except if it has an exclusive.




PS Since this is my 911th post, I felt I had to use this userpic!

Comments

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, of course.

[philmophlegm.livejournal.com]

Some rummaging around on YouTube (search for "yes minister newspapers"), reveals that I was wrong on a couple of things. First of al, it's Sir Humphrey that Jim tells, not his wife. Also:

The Mirror is read by people who think they run the country.
The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country.
The Morning Star is read by people who think another country should run the country.
The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think another country does run the country.

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HaqxxgPoEE

[eledonecirrhosa.livejournal.com]

I remember a much longer version of this (not in Yes Minister) that included a lot more newspapers and ended with:

The Sun is read by people who don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits.

[doccy.livejournal.com]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGscoaUWW2M - from 1:00 onwards :)