philmophlegm (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
philmophlegm) wrote2012-06-08 02:39 pm
philmophlegm) wrote2012-06-08 02:39 pm
Fifty Things Children Should Do Before They Are Eleven and Three Quarters
In response to the National Trust's campaign (http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/press/press-releases/view-page/item804930/) which struck me as some nightmarish combination of Baden-Powell and Enid Blyton and altogether too goody-goody and outdoorsy (not to mention plain old-fashioned), here is my own "Fifty Things Children Should Do Before They Are Eleven and Three Quarters":
1. Stay inside all weekend playing even though (or in fact because) it's sunny outside.
2. Choose to play a video game simulation of a sport in preference to the real thing.
3. Eat nothing but sweets and chocolate for an entire day.
4. Choose your own clothes, regardless of what your parents want you to wear.
5. Have a pet cat.
6. Learn to play chess.
7. Learn to play poker.
8. Watch a violent or scary 15 or 18-rated film.
9. See all six Star Wars films.
10. Refuse to eat some food that you don't like that an adult wants you to eat.
11. Have a collection of something.
12. Learn to swim.
13. Save up to buy something with your own money.
14. Look up rude words in a dictionary and learn what they mean.
15. Read a novel that isn't aimed specifically at children or "young adults".
16. Know more about a particular subject than both of your parents.
17. Own an mp3 player and manage your own playlists.
18. Know how to operate a personal computer.
19. Complete a long computer game.
20. Have your own email address.
21. Make a shop assistant look stupid by knowing more about the thing he is trying to sell your parents than he does.
22. Embarrass your parents by asking a rude or politically incorrect question quite loud. Something like "Mummy, why is that man so fat?" or "Daddy, are those people 'chavs'?" would do.
23. Refuse to participate in some extra-curricular activity (e.g. playing a musical instrument, trying out for the school football team or joining the Brownies) that your parents want you to do either because a) they used to do it or b) they wanted to but never had the chance or c) they used to do it and were crap at it and are living their dreams through you.
24. Play an 18-rated video game.
23. Look at the night sky through a telescope.
24. Go to a good zoo.
25. Visit a science museum.
26. Visit a history museum or a castle.
27. Do nothing but watch television for an entire weekend.
28. Learn a magic trick.
29. Have a hobby that you do because you want to, not because adults want you to.
30. Take part in a mass water-fight.
31. Know how to use a digital camera, from taking photos to uploading, editing and sharing them.
32. Write a computer programme. Even something as basic (pun intended) as making "Sharon smells!!!" appear all over the screen counts.
33. Buy something online (even if an adult has to do the actual payment).
34. Be alone in the house for several hours at a time.
35. Be able to have an intelligent conversation with an adult.
36. Have a favourite football team.
37. Sell or swap something that you own and negotiate the price.
38. Make paper planes.
39. Build something huge, and of your own design, out of LEGO.
40. Buy a member of your family a birthday or Christmas present with your own money that they really like and weren't expecting.
41. Be really, really bad at something but laugh it off.
42. Make up your own mind about the existence of gods, ghosts, fairies and other superstitions regardless of what your parents tell you to believe.
43. Conduct an experiment of your own design.
44. Create your own game.
45. Make some money of your own.
46. Play with your food.
47. Have a nickname and give your friends nicknames.
48. Own a bike (or other personal transport) and be able to ride it to see your friends.
49. Know how to handle yourself in a fight.
50. Know what kind of clothes make you look good and what kind make you look like a weirdo that nobody will want to be friends with.
1. Stay inside all weekend playing even though (or in fact because) it's sunny outside.
2. Choose to play a video game simulation of a sport in preference to the real thing.
3. Eat nothing but sweets and chocolate for an entire day.
4. Choose your own clothes, regardless of what your parents want you to wear.
5. Have a pet cat.
6. Learn to play chess.
7. Learn to play poker.
8. Watch a violent or scary 15 or 18-rated film.
9. See all six Star Wars films.
10. Refuse to eat some food that you don't like that an adult wants you to eat.
11. Have a collection of something.
12. Learn to swim.
13. Save up to buy something with your own money.
14. Look up rude words in a dictionary and learn what they mean.
15. Read a novel that isn't aimed specifically at children or "young adults".
16. Know more about a particular subject than both of your parents.
17. Own an mp3 player and manage your own playlists.
18. Know how to operate a personal computer.
19. Complete a long computer game.
20. Have your own email address.
21. Make a shop assistant look stupid by knowing more about the thing he is trying to sell your parents than he does.
22. Embarrass your parents by asking a rude or politically incorrect question quite loud. Something like "Mummy, why is that man so fat?" or "Daddy, are those people 'chavs'?" would do.
23. Refuse to participate in some extra-curricular activity (e.g. playing a musical instrument, trying out for the school football team or joining the Brownies) that your parents want you to do either because a) they used to do it or b) they wanted to but never had the chance or c) they used to do it and were crap at it and are living their dreams through you.
24. Play an 18-rated video game.
23. Look at the night sky through a telescope.
24. Go to a good zoo.
25. Visit a science museum.
26. Visit a history museum or a castle.
27. Do nothing but watch television for an entire weekend.
28. Learn a magic trick.
29. Have a hobby that you do because you want to, not because adults want you to.
30. Take part in a mass water-fight.
31. Know how to use a digital camera, from taking photos to uploading, editing and sharing them.
32. Write a computer programme. Even something as basic (pun intended) as making "Sharon smells!!!" appear all over the screen counts.
33. Buy something online (even if an adult has to do the actual payment).
34. Be alone in the house for several hours at a time.
35. Be able to have an intelligent conversation with an adult.
36. Have a favourite football team.
37. Sell or swap something that you own and negotiate the price.
38. Make paper planes.
39. Build something huge, and of your own design, out of LEGO.
40. Buy a member of your family a birthday or Christmas present with your own money that they really like and weren't expecting.
41. Be really, really bad at something but laugh it off.
42. Make up your own mind about the existence of gods, ghosts, fairies and other superstitions regardless of what your parents tell you to believe.
43. Conduct an experiment of your own design.
44. Create your own game.
45. Make some money of your own.
46. Play with your food.
47. Have a nickname and give your friends nicknames.
48. Own a bike (or other personal transport) and be able to ride it to see your friends.
49. Know how to handle yourself in a fight.
50. Know what kind of clothes make you look good and what kind make you look like a weirdo that nobody will want to be friends with.
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Apart from 49.
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N
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Only, I should certainly hope we don't force extracurricular activities on our children. The ones they have so far have been chosen according to their own tastes and preferences. But now that I come to think of it, oldest has refused doing swimming already, even though she was very keen on starting it...
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I'd amend number 36 to "Have a favourite football team. If you loathe football, pick some obscure minor division New Zealand or Paraguayan team just to shut people up when they demand to know your favourite team."
I'd also add "(d) they still do it and think it is the greatest thing since sliced bread so just don't get that you are not into it" to number 23.